the she

for the past few days, i had travel to places. the origin thought of mine was to clear my mind, so that i could still stay focus on my stuff that i currently doing right now. but sometime thing change so fast that myself couldnt handle. for me to fall for someone so fast, maybe my first intention for her was maybe our relationship between each other can get closer. but now it just seem like it had gone beyond that. i really think that i had fell for her right now. cant even think of any other thing while whole of my mind is thinking of her. maybe as my friend told me that i kinda 'blossom heart big carrot'. but she really make me think that she also fell for me. the days we spent together were so happy, and i can keep staying beside, no matter where we been all the time we travel, even when we slept. the most happiest hours was sleeping beside her and staring at her while she was asleep. how can i ever let myself fell in this kind of situation, maybe the first thought of mine is the most accurate. she did not fell for me. is all me that think of the other way. is all me. everything change when i told her i like her. very very very much. that really change everything. her attitude toward me. everything. now we even dont see each other face to face. how come i fell for her so fast? within days...
my heart really do ache now. pain that flow through all of my body. can even felt the sour feeling. the whole time of day waiting for her to reply the message. dying to see her. even thought that maybe now god of love had seen me now. sending the angel of her to bless me. but everything just fade. every hope just fade when she say she didnt want to have any relationship due to her bad memory she had with her ex bf. maybe is just an excuse to reject me. should i keep on going with it? keep staying beside her? or even stay here and not moving out. she is really a girl that i really fond of. attitude, outlook, everything... she really make me crazy like hell...