今天的早上
心臟又開始有點不舒服了
看來快要死了阿...
yeah...

最近看到了一句話
很實在
當我主動找你的時候, 是因為你對我很重要
當我不主動找你的時候, 是我不知道我在你心裡到底重不重要

對她

最近的心情似乎平靜了很多了
不在那麼的想她了
也許是心態改變了吧
一切都慢慢來

officially down... chik chiak~~ bang!!

今天, 應該是都結束了吧. 真的很痛, 非常的痛. 

眼淚好像就快要掉下來了. 真的沒有想到說會是這樣的痛. 

好像真的真的喜歡上她了. 真的很奇怪, 明明就這幾天的感情而已. 

不可能會如此的深吧. 難到我真的那麼快就喜歡上她? 

真的搞不是很清楚. 

她的人真的很好, 真的我覺得是我要一起走一生的. 

可是那麼好的女生, 當然也會要找好一點的男人把. 哈哈

她的笑容, 她的臉龐, 她的動作, 卻是如此的吸引, 如此得漂亮. 

也許我並不是她的另一半吧. 

抽菸, 又喝酒, 有被退學. 

看來真的好像配不上她. 

有被告知說一直約她出去, 已經造成她的困擾了. 

我想喜歡一個人, 應該不是給她困擾把. 

而是希望說她快樂就好.

好吧, 就留一張她的照片, 再讓自己還沒有完全康復的時候, 

還可以看看她一面. 

也許 這就是正真讓我離開這裡的理由了.

頭也不回的離開這裡. 離開一個 曾經很喜歡一個人的地方. 

到了這個時候, 還會想說會不會是她不像要開始一段感情, 是因為被傷害過. 

有時候真的不知道自己到底有沒有這個機會

她到底說清楚了嗎?

我真的搞不清阿. 

應該是IQ太低了吧.

 

又加上 what becomes of the broken heart. 真的很催淚. 

真的很不想要說會到哭這一步, 真的很怕自己會控制不了. 

一生中, 就只為兩個女人哭過.

一個是我喜歡了八年的女生

另一個我想就是她了吧

那一天, 為了那個女生, 就因為沒辦法送她去機場

晚上通電話的時候, 我們兩個都哭成一片了. 

可是我跟她是有了八年的感情了.

可是跟她, 真的就只有幾天的相處而已. 

怎麼會那麼得深呢? 

如果我現在對她講說, 我愛她 這三個字

我覺得 在這個當下 並不是說爽的 而是真的愛上她了

也許這就是所謂的 生活吧

並不是每一件事都是那麼得順利的. 

該是時候了 接受失敗吧. 

once the distance is so close, and now it so far. 

so close that i just have to reach out my hand to hold you, 

so far that i dont even sure that i know you.

thanks for coming into my life, and i have no regret of loving you.

every night end with tomorrow, and tomorrow start with a brand new morning..

the distance is so close that i used to think i had u, 

and now its so far that i think i dont even know you.

也是你,就只有你, 一個真的讓我摸不著的女人..

day 1?

聊了天過後,心情也比較舒暢了一點. 也許事情並不是那麼難接受. 很多東西換個角度,其實真的沒什麼..

現在也似乎做好了心理準備, 接受失去你的結果了... 這次還真的好像真的喜歡上你了... 

真的很不像要放棄你, 真的覺得你好像就是我的另一半... 就是你的那種強烈的感覺.. 

可是, 事情好像不是那樣的... 哈哈... 跟你出去的那幾天,真得很開心... 

好像沒有甚麼事情會比那個更開心了. 真的很希望每天的日子都有你在我身旁.. 

有是想到你,鼻子還真的會有酸酸的感覺... 這是叫難過嗎? 好久了, 沒有這種感覺了... 

the she

for the past few days, i had travel to places. the origin thought of mine was to clear my mind, so that i could still stay focus on my stuff that i currently doing right now. but sometime thing change so fast that myself couldnt handle. for me to fall for someone so fast, maybe my first intention for her was maybe our relationship between each other can get closer. but now it just seem like it had gone beyond that. i really think that i had fell for her right now. cant even think of any other thing while whole of my mind is thinking of her. maybe as my friend told me that i kinda 'blossom heart big carrot'. but she really make me think that she also fell for me. the days we spent together were so happy, and i can keep staying beside, no matter where we been all the time we travel, even when we slept. the most happiest hours was sleeping beside her and staring at her while she was asleep. how can i ever let myself fell in this kind of situation, maybe the first thought of mine is the most accurate. she did not fell for me. is all me that think of the other way. is all me. everything change when i told her i like her. very very very much. that really change everything. her attitude toward me. everything. now we even dont see each other face to face. how come i fell for her so fast? within days...
my heart really do ache now. pain that flow through all of my body. can even felt the sour feeling. the whole time of day waiting for her to reply the message. dying to see her. even thought that maybe now god of love had seen me now. sending the angel of her to bless me. but everything just fade. every hope just fade when she say she didnt want to have any relationship due to her bad memory she had with her ex bf. maybe is just an excuse to reject me. should i keep on going with it? keep staying beside her? or even stay here and not moving out. she is really a girl that i really fond of. attitude, outlook, everything... she really make me crazy like hell...